ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE?
We all can have trouble in our relationships, its always easy and tempting to blame the other person for these troubles and of course sometimes the issues can indeed be the fault of the other person but sometimes the fault can lie with us. The importance to realize when we are the problem is significant.
Have you ever wondered if you may be emotionally unavailable or perhaps what some of the signs may be of being emotionally unavailable?
Not having emotional availability for people be it a romantic relationship or platonic or family etcetera, this does not mean you are defined or are a bad person.
But if you are interested in developing a serious relationship with someone, having emotional availability can be key to the balance and healthy relationship.
10 SIGNS YOU MAY BE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE
Let’s list the 10 most common signs of emotional unavailability and see if these hit home for any of you.
1. Keeping conversations “service level”.
2. Avoiding Commitment.
3. Getting defensive whenever someone notices a part of you that you want no one to see.
4. Pushing people away whenever they get close to seeing your “true self” rather than the filtered version of you.
5. You fear connecting with others in a deep and intimate way.
6. You perceive receiving support/ help as a weakness.
7.You have an extreme level of “self-sufficiency” and fear needing anyone.
8. Avoiding situations that trigger a deeper emotion that is tied to a painful incident in the past.
9. Struggling to build trust with others.
10. Justifying protective behaviours by exaggerating the flaws in others.
If you found that these traits match your behaviours and find that you can relate to these 10 signs. It may be a great time to self-reflect. As mentioned before do remember it is OKAY to be emotionally unavailable at chapters of our lives.
It is OKAY to want to casually date without the emotional investment or to casually hook-up without being madly in love or feeling guilty due to lack of connection. Its OKAY to just focus on yourself and prioritizing your free time to get to know yourself and to fulfil your own needs. It’s important to have ME- TIME it helps us discover who we are and what we want.
If you do feel these 10 signs speak to you and you have the desire to connect and meet new people. It is important to be upfront and honest about your mindset and feelings regarding this when you decide you want to get involved with people.
Don’t feel pressure from the outside – no one is entitled to be placed in your heart just because they want to be there, you aren’t obligated to open up to everyone you meet or connect with. But it is a good idea to treat these people with respect and be upfront about where you are at mentally and what you may be looking for or what you are not looking for. Make good choices that will benefit you and not add to your problems.
To conclude if you feel you are emotionally unavailable or some of these traits describe you. It is worth taking the time to focus on your needs and self-explore all the while being respectful of others who may be present in your life. Taking small steps in making changes that suit you and your needs – focus on your own well-being and emotional health while considering how to interact with others and building relationships – this is one of the best ways we can take care of ourselves and each other.
If you do not think you can handle it alone, talk with a therapist. They can help you better understand your emotions. (sign up on our website www.makingways.co.uk/get-started to book a consultation if you feel ready to talk to someone).